By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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