i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
