Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i've created a new STD.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
