ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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