hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Randomize
