he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
