You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
