your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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