She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
