That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
