My brain says no but my pants say off.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
