I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
