The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
