I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
