I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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