I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
