I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
