If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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