you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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