I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
