yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
