belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
