so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
