It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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