She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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