I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
