I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
FUCK WHALES
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