I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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