im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
