so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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