He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
