shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
