I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
