Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
