my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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