Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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