I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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