Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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