She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
