i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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