when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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