Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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