I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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