i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
