Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You made out with two different species that night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
