did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
