He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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