the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I bet he comes in French.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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