He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
