never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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