this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
