Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
