Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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